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February 13th, 2008
05:08 pm - Sex and Sexuality from the WST Discussion Board.
I understand that this is a difficult topic for many women to address and right there, implicit in that statement, shows how our culture has stripped from us our female power. Why should it be hard for us to talk about our sexuality? There is nothing wrong with it. It's normal, it's biological, and it can even be fun. If members of the male sex can embrace and use their (hetero)sexuality as a characteristic behind which they can unite, as a means to power, and as a given, why can't we as females do so as well?
Hetero sexuality is seen as the norm while that isn't always the case. It may be a biological imperative but that's the extent of it. If homo sexuality can be seen as a choice, so can hetero. Granted, it's a weighted one, but it is still a choice. How weighted? Think of how your life were to change if you were to "come out of the closet" and say you were a homosexual. How would your family, friends, fellow members at work react? What would be different in your daily life? Would you be a different person entirely just because your sexual orientation was different?
Adolescent girls are vulnerable. The magical rite of entering into womanhood has been stripped from them in this culture. They are constantly bombarded by set images which try to mold them into certain shapes regarding their appearance, their buying habits, and their sexuality. A man in this class said that marriage is a system put into place by males to keep females down. Isn't that similar to hetero sexuality? How much is our economy dependent on women trying to look good for men? Regarding our culture again, it states that even when our bodies are physically ready for sex, we are not mentally prepared for it. That sets us up for a whole boatful of trouble. When we, as females, try to mentally prepare for it, that's when we run headlong into the system which says: we cannot embrace sex, we must be careful of our reputations, it's the male's duty to initiate sexual contact, we must not be too sexy, if we're not careful we'll lose ourselves, we'll lose our virginity rather than embrace our sexuality.
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I think, that we, as women, need to find our own power and not have to find it in the arms of a sexual relationship. I think that is a major flaw in how we bring up our children. Our society teaches us to treat them as if they don't know anything, as if they are powerless and once they hit the age when sex is an option, it becomes a way out. A way for them to find acceptance and to continue to be sheltered.
Our sexuality is used as a weapon. We enter into relationships for whatever reasons but end up bartering our bodies in order to keep the male "interested." Once we open Pandora's box (no pun intended) it's hard to go back. There's a loss of status if you say no in the beginning. Then you get status if you say yes, but only in a monogamous long term relationship. Then the expectation that you will always be willing once you are for the first time. Then the loss of status if you switch partners too quickly or enjoy it too much.
Don't even get me started on the guilt trips men give women when women choose to say no and they are in the middle of "intimacies." Women's bodies hurt too, you know.
Little girls get social satisfaction by having boyfriends and crushes on males. It's all part of the system. It's a set path. Just like the inferiority of women used to be a set path. We can change it, if we can talk about it.
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Sex is sex and love is love. Sex can be love and sex can also be not love, but can be affection or even just plain the fulfilling of bodily needs. There should not be a stigma attached to that. Fear of wrecking the nuclear family? It's wrecked already. Fear of diseases? Take responsibility for yourself. Fear of rejection and social ostracization? We're working on that one.
Sex does, and always has, equaled power. Just look as it how it was used as a tool of war. The winners (hah) would then have the right to rape any of the women that they could find in order to spread their seed. On a Cultural level, look at all the incidences of half Vietnamese/half American children after the Vietnam war.
Define weaker members of society. If you remove the values from sexuality, why would there be weak members at that point?
I could answer, and say that I care who is getting some because I want to see how I hold up in terms of the competitive aspect of sex, that is, the most sexually desirables are usually the ones who have the most money, most assets, the best appearance. I want to see who I am reflected by who they are. But, in all honesty, I don't.
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